change!

I love change.
Change is what I am about.
Change encompasses the thrust of my role.
For the last 20 years or so I have always had roles where change has been central to what I’m about.
So … not only do I like change, but I think I cope well with change.

Or so I thought!

It has been an interesting few months. I have found certain things a bit of a struggle but I have not been able to place my finger properly on why. It’s not been anything desperate or worrying, but I have been aware that things have not been ‘quite right’. I have been unsettled.

While having coffee with a friend the other week she asked me a significant question that resulted in an immediate answer but later resulted in a type of epiphany moment where I saw things differently.

The question was simple, ‘Do you cope well with change?’ I immediately answered yes but then this thought came into my head which said something like ‘yes, that’s true I cope with change well and have done over the years because I have been the instigator of change, I have been the person steering change. I have moved from teams and left them to cope with change. There is a lot of ‘I’ there and I think that is what my friend was causing me to think about.

There is a big change afoot with Adrian leaving to become bishop and for the first time in two decades I am experiencing a change that I have no control over. I have always been the person that has moved on to something new. I have never remained in the same place to experience change as part of a team that I do not lead.

It’s an odd feeling, I guess, and I am not sure it is a feeling or situation I can say I enjoy. But … now that I am aware of it life is back to ‘normal’; whatever ‘normal’ happend to be for any of us.

Being aware of my unsettledness has allowed me to express this through my relationship to God and I guess serves as a reminder that it is God we rely on, God we follow and God who enables us to do whatever it is that God calls us to do.

The next year or so is going to be strange, worrying, uncomfortable and quite exciting …… as I said; I love change! (but if you are the praying sort – please pray for us all as we go through this transition)

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