is this a community birthing?

So pub theo happened again last night. I forget now how long we have been meeting, but it must be around 2 years. That’s a lot of theology, a lot of discussion, a lot of arguing, a lot of pulling ideas apart and rebuilding them, a lot of learning from each other, a lot of challenging, a lot of …. well a lot of good fun with a great and always changing group of people really!

Last night we touched on the rights and wrongs of freedom of speech based on Boris banning a certain bus advert. We ended up asking whether we do actually have free speech in this country and it was interesting to see a number of us disagreeing with the sentiment of the advert in question but struggling with the removal of their right to be heard.

Last night saw a lot of theological discussion as we moved on to other topics but this was interspersed by a lot of general chat around catching up with each other. I think last night may have been the first time that the theological and the catching up discussion was around a 50-50 balance. It seemed like something of community was evident and starting to grow … and I wonder if that can be the case after meeting only a few times over beer, food and talk? I guess it is a good, if not the best, way to start!

a beautiful film

I watched Lars and the Real Girl last night; which I can best describe as a simply beautiful film.

Without giving too much of the plot away, the film is about Lars who develops a relationship with Bianca, a doll that he orders from the internet. Lars takes Bianca to parties and to church. The film outlines how the relationship develops between Lars and Bianca, but more crucially, it shows how the people of the town react and relate to the relationship.

It is the way the people of the town act towards this delusional and awkwardly shy character of Lars that I thought made this film particularly beautiful to watch. It is a great and challenging example of genuine loving community, and more than once throughout the film I wondered what would the world be like if people really could, and did, act like this.

This is not just an example of what honest loving community could look like, it is also an example of what real church could be …. actually is there a difference?

(Thanks Meghan for drawing my attention to this film … if you had not guessed, I enjoyed!)

calling … mary salome and barnabas

Yesterday I drove Meghan and Luke back to Heathrow and waved bye as they returned to the US and COTA.

The three week placement has gone pretty quickly and as well as now considering 2 people that I did not really know before to be ‘friends’ it has been a great experience to have Meghan shadowing me for large parts of what I do in Rochester.

Over the last month or so we have chatted a lot and it has been really enlightening to hear another pioneers perspective and observations on what I am doing. We have not always agreed about stuff but the time has, I think, been beneficial and challenging in a  positive way for both of us.

For myself it has been really valuable to have someone alongside to share ideas and seek feedback from. In many ways Meghan has fulfilled a ‘St. Mary Salome’ type role for me: a character that is believed to have been the person that was asking Jesus questions and challenging … maybe asking ‘why do you do this and not this?’ (there’s a bit of poetic licence there as we really know very little about Mary Salome). In other words Meghan’s comments and questions have required me to think about what I do, to remind myself what I am about, and to challenge me to remember what it is that I am trying to achieve. It is also good to hear how a fellow person views and experiences the same situation.

As I said, it has been great having Meghan around. It has supported in my mind the belief that I need two other people to join with me on this journey.

For sometime now in my weekly prayer emails I have been asking my friends to join me in praying for two other people to join me on my travels. I believe these two people  may best described as a Mary Salome and a Barnabas character: one remembered for their questioning ability, and the other for their encouragement. So … I’m still on the look out for these 2 people. If you are the praying kind … please join me in asking that I may find them soon.

Meghan has now been on placement with me for 2 weeks and one of the many advantages is that her visit has caused me to think about how I am linked in with other communities and how I am ‘sustained’ and so tonight we visited the Moot community.

Visiting Moot on Sunday night was an experience like ‘coming home’ for me. The experience of being back within a community that really ‘understands’ and ‘gets’ what I am about because we are all on a similar journey was really quite affirming and strengthening.

I loved my time with the moot community and I hope to be able to start to visit again on a more regular basis. For info and an exciting vision check out the moot video here.

lack of O2 killing me …?

I thought yesterday was quite an interesting day if you were an O2 customer. There was a theft, or vandalism (or if you re into conspiracy theories … MI5 took down the network in connection with terrorist threats to the queen) or something that meant that the O2 network was ‘down’ for around half a day.

It was interesting because I got sucked into reading peoples comments on the support website. I went to see what the status update was and there were demands after demands for compensation, comments on how disastrous this was, and people very angry because they were unable to send or receive texts. I liked this comment in particular:

Comments = hilarity.
“Send everyone a text to tell them the network is down” – genius, pure genius.
“I pay £25 a month and I want compensation” – What are you going to do with your 83p? Don’t spend it all at once!
“I have a child in school” – generations of children went to school every day before mobile phones were invented. Most of them came home in one piece. They’ll be fine.
It’s almost worth the outage for the funnies. Good work, people – your self-inflicted misery is hilarious!

and this one really did make me laugh:

I have a date tonight and was meant to confirm the time and place… I’m stuck at work with just my phone on me that doesn’t work… what am I meant to do… is o2 going to compensate me for lost social life.. or even physical endulgence..

and the most sensible of all:

‘shut up … it’s only for one day!’

I was interested by two things in all this –

It seems we are becoming more and more of a ‘compensation’ culture. The cries for compensation on the support website are loud and numerous numerous, even though the person above asks ‘what will you do with your 83p refund?’ It seems we have come to expect a service and we don’t get that service then we have a right to be compensated. I don’t think that is a particularly pleasant side of our culture. I’m not sure what is says about where we are going as people … apart from always looking to transfer blame for our stresses onto other people. O2 gets blamed for a lot of stuff on the website … such as a persons decision to leave the arrangements for a date to the very last minute!

More interesting, though, is that it would seem that a large number of people, myself included, have allowed ourselves to become quite dependant on our mobile phones and communication structures. I wrote a while ago about the practice i notice when just sitting around of people, by habit, taking out their mobile phones every few minutes to see if they have missed a message. A friend responded that he felt connected and in community through his phone which is why he often checked. I guess if people feel connected through their phone then that would explain the anxiety for many yesterday … they were unconnected, they could not text, they could not be texted, they were no longer under the illusion of being in control – they were alone!

Did so many people really feel alone yesterday … is that why there was so much stress flying around?

something’s different!

We are in Holy Week and the setting of the cathedral has changed a little.
Neil has had a new altar made which looks stunning in its setting at the centre of the nave.
The chairs have been moved so that we all sit closer to each other and looking at each other – which is pretty major for the cathedral which is used to sitting in rows facing the front which has the choirs and altar separating the congregation and clergy.

I much prefer the st up we have for this week because I think it says a lot about how we as church try to be. Sitting very close and seeing each other can be awkward and strange. Smiles can develop as people look at each other unexpectedly. The sense of closeness and awkwardness says a lot to me about community and family as well as giving just a taste of the awkwardness and confusion that the disciples must have felt in these last few days before Christ was crucified.

If you don’t normally come to the cathedral why not drop in and see what you think …. if you want to experience worship in this setting you can see this weeks services here ….. we could always go for a drink after!

a monastic conversation

I simply had an amazing day today; and I look back on the day and I am not sure whether I am excited or terrified … and maybe it is a mixture of the two.

I was invited to a conversation that was being held with leaders of traditional Anglican monastic communities and leaders of small missional communities in the CofE that draw on a New Monastic basis. It was in the latter category that I was invited … in case you thought something had happened that you were unaware of.

I am not sure whether the gathering would call itself a new monastic community or whether we think of ourselves in that way. Certainly as a community we want to be able to live a life of integrity where our actions support our words. We are a missional community that wants to engage with the needs in the community around us. We are quite diverse and yet united by a desire to travel the journey together and we hope we will be able to achieve this, in part, as we develop our rhythm of life. Taking all that together it does sound like we may have some monastic tendencies …. but what we develop into may be something different. Hey … I don’t even know what tomorrow will bring, let alone what we will be next year!

I met up with some good friends today and was able to catch up, and I made a number of new friends which I always enjoy to do.

The format of the day was great. People told their story and in tables we chatted about the story as we sought to learn from each other and hear what is happening. My table had a good mix of people from new monastic and traditional monastic communities – so the conversation was always good.There were two particularly exciting things for me that I noticed throughout the day:

God seems to be saying similar things to diverse groups of people. On my table I had the delight of meeting Sister Mary David from the Benedictine Community of West Malling. She noted that each community, traditional and ‘new’, was very different but that all were trying to live out a faith authentically.

I was particularly encouraged by each person sharing how small their community was. I guess from the web it is easy to think that things are a lot larger than they really are and this, in turn, can cause you to feel pretty inadequate. As someone involved in a small community I was quite encouraged to hear others being and doing in small groups as well. I was also challenged by others who are living in some pretty scary places and even being shot at for their faith! I am not sure I have the courage for that!

I was struck by a few ‘gems’ of wisdom during the day:

On our table, I guess, I was keen to learn from those who have been in monastic orders for a while. We had 4 nuns on our table and when asked about sustainability we were given two bits of advice – the need to be flexible and adaptable to what is happening around you in the world and the community and change accordingly. Holding onto things and practices too preciously was not going to be honouring to God. The other ‘secret’ of sustainability was the need to take risks – a number of the traditional communities have needed to change location or how they work … and some of those changes have been very risky!

Another ‘gem’ regarding a rule of life. One sister, Joyce, spoke of the rule of life as ‘not a fence but a well to draw from and be refreshed by’ while Sister Mary David spoke of it as a ‘trellis that helps us to grow and supports us’. I find both of those images both powerful and helpful to myself as I wrestle with ‘stuff’.

I’ve already said the day was amazing. There is a lot we can learn from each other and I am really excited that these conversations will continue in some way. I am also pretty scared …. at what the outcome may entail.

Thanks everyone, particularly Ian and Abbot Stuart, for making this such an amazing day.

kester on community

(apologies for being a bit behind the time here is finding this post)
Kester writes quite a provocative post here on Christian community.
As the gathering we are seeking to develop ‘community’ so maybe we should discuss this some time over the next few weeks.
Do we gather around an absence?
If not, what or who do we gather around?

a ‘spoons meeting

Last night I attended the first ‘customer liaison meeting’ at my local wetherspoons. I thought it was quite well attended and it was interesting to hear what customers thought of how the pub was being run alongside hearing the vision of the senior staff for the pub to become ‘a local pub’ that interacts with the community in ways that ‘the local’ does. It was great because the senior staff clearly care what their customers think.

It was good to be a part of this meeting and hear the views of other people. It was quite fascinating to see how different people saw things differently. Personally I think most of the staff do a great job – after all I have had no hassle from them about sitting there throughout most mornings over the last 2 years!  From a gathering and personal point of view the meeting was good too as Nick, the pub manager, thought it would be a good idea to reserve some tables for us for pub theology which will now be happening on the last Monday of every month. This will make things slightly less worrying but also to have the ‘blessing’ of the management is, I think, quite important.  The next pub theology is next Monday, 27th. September and there will be people there 7.00pm although it is easy to get in on the conversation whenever you arrive.

I really enjoy being connected to the community of this pub. I hope even more that the vision of the staff becomes a reality and if there is any role for a pioneer priest in supporting them … well that could be quite interesting!

Right … well I’m off to ‘spoons for a coffee …. or maybe a root beer and if I stay longer then they have a nice looking porter on tap!

early reflections from Seatac

I’m sitting at the airport in Seattle with time to kill so thought i would use the time to mull over some immediate reflections on my past 3 weeks here with COTA.

There are things that I think I can transport across the Atlantic and try out almost straight away. I suppose I am surprised by this as I only came looking for principles. I did not think things that are domne here would transport into British culture all that well.  But, I think I have come away with pub theology and sacred cocktails as real possibilities in a Medway setting, albeit with a little alteration here and there to take account iof cultural differences – not so much US and UK but more Seattle and Medway. I have no problem with the idea and name of Sacred Cocktails, but I suppose I do wonder whether ‘Pub Theology’ as a name may put people off, or may make it sound a lot more academic that it is. Drinking beer and talking about God (which is essentially what theology is) is not that great a title either … so, readers – any suggestions?

I have been thinking along the pub thing for a while I guess but thinking I need others to help plan. I have seen at COTA that a topic only needs to be chosen, and the date, time and location can be shared on Facebook. If people come they come and a discussion happens, if they don’t, then it doesn’t. I think I am going to go ahead and see if this will work in our local setting – if no one tries then we will never know – I do seem to know a lot of people that like to talk spirituality/theology/about God AND drink beer … so who knows!

I think I have had a COTA insight, as well, into principles of community building. COTA seems to have always set out to build a community rather than looking to plant a church. Community, friendship, caring for each other are all quite central to COTA. They are not perfect, and they would be at the front of the line of people to say that, but they do community pretty well. They know how to eat and party, but i think that has a lot to do with being a church of under 30′s, which add an excitement to church that is lacking in some places. These people like to hang out together, so giving opportunitiers for community to grow in this way is important.

I think, as well, though that this aspect showed me that COTA knows how to party, but they also talk about fasting  but have not worked out how to do this yet. That’s an observation that they are aware of ratehr than a criticism and it speaks of balance more than anything else. I don’t think COTA is unbalanced (far from it!),  but it could be at risk of becoming so if things like fasting are not explored. For our community in Medway, we need to grow community but also look to a balance in how we operate and work out our spirituality.

I said these were early reflections – I possibly have more but then this nlog would be long and I have 10 hours on a plane ahead in which I can reflect more!

I believe as time goes on this experience is going to ooze more and more thoughts and reflections into my mind and possibly yhis blog, and hopefully into my practice.

If all goes well, in 2 hours I will be in the air and on my way home – I’m really looking forward to seeing my family!